Forgiving does not mean forgetting. When we forgive a person, the
memory of the wound might stay with us for a long time, even throughout
our lives. Sometimes we carry the memory in our bodies as a visible
sign. But forgiveness changes the way we remember. It converts the curse
into a blessing. When we forgive our parents for their divorce, our
children for their lack of attention, our friends for their
unfaithfulness in crisis, our doctors for their ill advice, we no longer
have to experience ourselves as the victims of events we had no control
over.
Forgiveness allows us to claim our own power and not let these
events destroy us; it enables them to become events that deepen the
wisdom of our hearts. Forgiveness indeed heals memories.
Henri Nouwen
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