Do You Own Your Own Pain?
The main
question is: “Do you own your pain?” As long as you do not own your
pain—that is, integrate your pain into your way of being in the
world—the danger exists that you will use the other to seek healing for
yourself. When you speak to others about your pain without fully owning
it, you expect something from them that they cannot give. As a result,
you will feel frustrated, and those you wanted to help will feel
confused, disappointed, or even further burdened.
But when you
fully own your pain and do not expect those to whom you minister to
alleviate it, you can speak about it in true freedom. Then sharing your
struggle can become a service; then your openness about yourself can
offer courage and hope to others.
Henri Nouwen
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