Hold the mayo!

There was an article in the Sunday paper this weekend titled, "Ordinary objects; super uses", which gave a list of 112 uses for household products like aspirin, baking soda, and aluminum foil, that are not what they were originally designed for. This is not an unusual column to be found in times of economic uncertainty and recession, however, a few of the items listed, along with their uses, were kind of baffling to me. For example, there were 4 things that you could do with beer. Now, I'm sorry, but living in St. Louis the home of Budweiser, the only thing you do with beer is drink it. Anything else should be punishable by law. Who would want to waste a perfectly good beer by mixing it with an egg and using it as a hair conditioner? I would think you could buy a bottle of hair conditioner for less than a bottle of beer. Speaking of hair care. As an alternative to beer, there was a recommendation to use mayonnaise to condition your hair! Mayonnaise? That's got to be even more expensive than beer. And who in their right mind would want to slather mayo in their hair? Not me. OK, there were a couple of neat ideas. Throw a couple of Alka-Seltzer into the toilet and wait 20 minutes and flush and presto, you'll have a clean toilet. Who likes to clean toilets anyway? Ok, gotta try this recipe, throw a used banana peel in with the roast. Not! Who wrote this thing? Someone who says, Soda Pop. Hmm, must be from Michigan.